Money for Love! (Chicks Aren't Free)

Money is a topic that you will see me revisiting frequently, I'm afraid, but it only makes sense - on a blog about relationships, we should expect to see the number one issue between couples! Sad, but true. Now check this out:

Dear Harriette: My boyfriend and I have really good jobs, but he makes a bit more money than I do. Whenever we go to a restaurant, club or general outing hosted by one of my friends, he expects me to pay for him. I always refuse, and we argue for a bit but end up going Dutch. He doesn't have many friends in the city, but when we do go out with them, he never offers to pay for me - so I can't understand why he would expect me to pay for him. I have talked to him about it, but he doesn't understand my point of view. What do I do?

The advisor responds that she should talk to her boyfriend about money and come up with a "plan" about how to pay for dates. I couldn't agree more - because if you can't manage a solution you both agree with at the early dating stage, forget about having a life together down the road. Money values are just as important as sexual values, in my opinion, and a spendthrift and tightwad could never have a happy relationship without a lot of change and personal growth. And why would you want to get into years of feeling like you can't spend your own money, or that your spouse is holding back from you? Many people see money as a trust issues; still more as an issue about the value their spouse places on them.

People, don't go down this road - if you have money arguments with your boyfriend, you need to seriously evaluate what that means for your future, because people rarely change when it comes to something as fundamental as funds.