What Not to Date

The Day Cometh

2008-06-01T22:49:00.004-05:00

Stop reading now if you have not seen the Sex and the City movie because I am here to spoil it all!!

I cried, I laughed, I cried some more..............aah how I have missed the girls. The emotion was so real and I really truly felt the pain when Carrie got out of the car and made it hail flower petals!! So raw and so true and so painful. The acting was great, the story line was great, Charlotte pooped her pants, I will miss the girls yet again! I have watched my DVDs of the series so many times that the plastic covers are no longer covers but merely individual unattached plastic pages that sit atop the DVDs. I love the girls, I love the sex, I love the city!!
If you haven't seen the movie yet, go see it with your girlfiends, by your self or with your man, it doesn't matter, it is good no matter who is sitting beside you! Bring some tissues, and be prepared for a great great movie!

Get "Carried" away with the new SATC trailer

2008-02-26T21:06:00.002-06:00

Sex and the City update! Great new trailer but warning there are plenty of spoilers!!

What if?

2008-02-10T03:33:00.000-06:00

I feel that friends are important in life, saying that- what do ya do when a friend doesn't return phone calls? What if a friends voice mail box is full? I have a friend that I will call Jay. This Jay is an awesome person and I love Jay but I am beginning to take it personal when Jay doesn't pick up the phone or call me back or even return my text messages or pages. I know that Jay is busy and Jay has TONS of stuff going on right now but does Jay not know that the world revolves around me and that Jay needs to help a brother out and answer a call? Big things are happening in my life that I would LOVE for Jay to know about them. I have moved across the country, I have big things that will happen and I only have 6 and half more months to plan for it, and I really want to talk to Jay about those things AND I wanna know what is going on in Jay's life, the voice mail box is full, the unanswered calls, the unanswered text's and pages? Am I being too much of a stalker? Maybe. Am I worried sick that something has happened to my good friend Jay? YES! I just want to talk to Jay and KNOW that everything is OK. Rollar coasters happen in life and our friends are there to reassure us that the upcoming loop that will turn us upside down won't kill us, and that the big fast downhill drop will lead to a big climb where we can see 360 degrees from where we sit. I miss my Jay! Jay is the kind of friend that does the rollar coasters in life well and has expierenced many ups and downs, I need my Jay right now to talk me through the loops, calm me down and tell me I will make it through. I miss Jay.

What cartoon character are you?

2008-02-07T23:02:00.000-06:00

I am Sponge Bob Square Pants! As much as I didn't want to be it is the best one for me. I enjoy these fun little quizzes! Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you are.

Everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. Have you ever asked yourself what cartoon character do you most resemble?

A group of investigators got together and analyzed the personalities of well known and modern cartoon characters.
The information that was gathered was made into this test.

Answer all the questions (only 10) with what describes you best, add up all your Points (which are next to the answer that you choose) at the end and look for your results.

Do not cheat by looking at the end before you are done.

1. Which one of the following describes the perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner (4 pts.)
b) Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
c) Painting in the park (5 pts)
d) Rock concert (1 pt.)
e) Going to the movies (3 pts.)

2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
b) Alternative (1 pt.)
c) Soft Rock (4 pts.)
d) Country (5 pts.)
e) Pop (3 pts.)

3. What type of movies do you prefer?
a) Comedy (2 pts.)
b) Horror (1 pt.)
c) Musical (3 pts.)
d) Romance (4 pts.)
e) Documentary (5 pts.)

4. Which one of these occupations would you choose if you only could choose one of these?
a) Waiter (4 pts.)
b) Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
c) Teacher (3 pts.)
d) Police (2 pts.)
e) Cashier (1 pt)

5. What do you do with your spare time?
a) Exercise (5 pts.)
b) Read (4 pts.)
c) Watch television (2 pts.)
d) Listen to music (1 pt.)
e) Sleep (3 pts.)

6. Which one of the following colors do you like best?
a) Yellow (1 pt.)
b) White (5 pts.)
c) Sky Blue (3 pts.)
d) Dark Blue (2 pts.)
e) Red (4 pts.)

7. What do you prefer to eat?
a) Snow (3 pts.)
b) Pizza (2 pts.)
c) Sushi (1 p t.)
d) Pasta (4 pts.)
e) Salad (5 pts.)

8. What is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween (1 pt.)
b) Christmas (3 pts.)
c) New Year (2 pts.)
d) Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
e) Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. If you could go to one of these places which one would it be?
a) Paris (4 pts)
b) Spain (5 pts)
c) Las Vegas (1 pt)
d) Hawaii (4 pts)
e) Hollywood (3 pts)

10. With which of the following would you prefer to spend time with?
a) Someone Smart (5 pts.)
b) Someone attractive (2 pts.)
c) Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
d) Someone who always has fun (3 pts.)
e) Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

Now add up your points and find out the answer you have been waiting for!

Put your character in the subject line and forward to your friends and back to the person that sent this to you.

It is very interesting to see 'who' your friends are!

(10-16 points) You are Garfield:
You are very comfortable, easy going, and you definitely know how to have fun but sometimes you take it to an extreme. You always know what you are doing and you are always in control of your life Others may not see things as you do, but that doesn't mean that you always have to do what is right. Try to remember, your happy spirit may hurt you or others.

(17-23 points) You are Snoopy:
You are fun, you are very cool and popular. You always know what's in and you are never are out of style. You are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. You have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but you always come home with the family values that you learned. Being married and having children are important to you, but only after you have had your share of fun times.

(24-28 points) You are Elmo:
You have lots of friends and you are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. You are very optimistic and you always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts in your life.

(29-35 points) You are Sponge Bob Square Pants:
You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people, and you will be stress free.

(36-43 points) You are Charlie Brown:
You are tender, you fall in love quickly but you are also very serious about all relationships. You are a family person. You call your Mom every Sunday. You have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let your passion confuse you with reality.

(44-50 points) You are Dexter:
You are smart and definitely a thinker.. Every situation is fronted with a plan. You have a brilliant mind. You demonstrate very strong family principles. You maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once in a while to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!

Sex tips....everyone can use at least one!

2008-02-07T01:28:00.000-06:00

The article is called 27 Things Every Woman Should Know about Sex from Redbook. Things like Don't forget to ask, Sex gets better with age, his lack of a flaw meter and the more you get it the more you want it. Good stuff to remember and to do!!!!!!

10 things you should never say.......

2008-02-05T20:49:00.000-06:00

Just thought before Valentines Day I would share these articles about what you should never say to a woman or to a man. Good things to remember in a relationship, newly dating or even good advice for friends. Most you have probably heard before but it is always good to be reminded. Sometimes its best to choose not to say anything. Relax and it's just a game are my two least favorite things to hear!
P.S. Just want to mention that that I hate this holiday....with or without a significant other...this holiday sucks! If you have to be reminded to say I love you then you should not be in that relationship! Maybe some flowers (doesn't have to be roses, daisies are nice or tulips) or maybe a lovely card but remember to send flowers or a card sometimes just because and then valentines day is just another day with much less pressure!

Truth in Advertising

2008-02-03T12:24:00.000-06:00

Very, very subtle.

Sex and the City Blog

2008-02-03T12:00:00.000-06:00

Sex and the City movie is due to hit theaters May 30th finally! Here is the official blog for the movie if you want to check in from time to time.

Single girls choices!

2008-02-02T13:42:00.000-06:00

A great episode of Sex and the City was done about how much the single gal spends celebrating her friends life choices. Engagement gifts, bridal showers, wedding presents, baby showers, and kids birthdays. What do the single gals get for not marrying the wrong guy, choosing not to have children or for buying their first home? I came across this article that brings up the point again and I think it is worth mentioning. Remember marriage is not what it once was and some of us still believe in picking one person and making it work. If I am not 100% sure that this is not "the one" then I am not interested in spending my vows on them. Look around and think how many people do you know with successful and happy relationships? Doesn't seem like many, does it! Just keep an open mind and don't judge the single gal for being single.

Follow-up on the Target ad post

2008-01-23T20:36:00.000-06:00

Prof. Volokh saw the ad and reached a similar conclusion.

Self-absorbed jerks

2008-01-23T20:32:00.000-06:00

From the New York Times:

But you have to admit that "I'm having a midlife crisis" sounds a lot better than "I'm a narcissistic jerk having a meltdown."

Can't Stand it Any More (Updated)

2008-01-22T10:42:00.001-06:00

Can't leave that other recent post on the top of the page any more; it's been three days of "pussy" each time I look at the blog. So instead I'll point to this underwhelming bit of advice-giving about what to do when someone says, "I love you," and you say it back but don't mean it. The comments are what make this post so interesting: Someone asks, what's the difference between "like" and "love"? A commenter responds: "You like someone if you enjoy having them around you. You love someone if their happiness and well-being is necessary to yours."

Sounds like a good definition, you think?

UPDATE: When Amy Alkon dropped by and left a comment on this post, I took a look at it and realized how insulting it was, not as a result of wanting to insult her but by being a sloppy writer. So I sent her a little note to apologize, because I'm a big fan of her column and had enjoyed her writing from time to time via her late friend, the wonderful journalist and blogger Cathy Seipp, who passed away early last year. I told her that instead of "underwhelming" I should have written "a bummer, because it's the best you can do in a bad situation but still uncomfortable." No one wants to have to suck it up and do what they know they have to do, which is why (I suspect) many people write into advice columnists in the first place. Dan Savage is always answering people that they already know what he's going to say, and many times (if you're a long-time reader or listener to the podcast) that is true. And a good lesson for me - don't sound like a jerk unless you mean to be a jerk, because you never know who is watching.

"All about pussy"

2008-01-19T10:46:00.000-06:00

Amy writes that "feminists are up in arms about a Times Square Target billboard" depicting a woman making "snow angels" on top of the Target logo, and says, "For people who are supposedly about seeing women 'as people first,' these feminists sure are all about pussy!" (Click the link to view the ad and judge for yourself.)

Via Instapundit, with amused thanks.

Sex vs emotion: Men vs women

2008-01-18T22:37:00.000-06:00

This is an interesting article about some generalizations on men and women but I wonder if post-sex intimacy is the best place for conversation? While I agree that it could be a good opportunity for some emotional exchange, I would like to warn women to remember to choose their topics carefully and not to exploit this moment. This is an opportunity for emotional exchange, not wish lists and such. I like the last line of the article:

But women sometimes demand too much emotional talk from men. Women
need to recognize that men often express affection best through actions
(changing a light bulb, fixing the VCR) rather than words.

I think we should all remember to acknowledge the little things other people do for us.

TKO smile!

2008-01-18T22:05:00.000-06:00

I am sticking with the ad things for awhile. Here is a Terrel Owens ad for something. Who really cares what it is for, right?

Excellent Advice

2008-01-17T20:14:00.000-06:00

"Bury the Stinking Carcass of your Old Relationship"

Saw this in an advice column today:

How long does it take for an individual to get over a relationship before s/he can get into another relationship and be mentally stable?

Mourning the death of a committed, long-term, dating relationship generally requires one to three months. For a marriage, it’s four months to one year. But these are averages and frankly, I flunked math. The actual period depends on how honest the couple has been with each other and themselves about the end of their intimacy (physical, emotional, spiritual and mental). The higher the rate of deception on either person’s part, the longer the process of healing for both. While mourning, it’s important to spend time alone, especially if doing so makes you uncomfortable. If you can’t enjoy your own company, you will rush to fill it with any warm body or addictive substances and behaviors. Instead, devote time to hanging with friends and to seeing a counselor to smooth the rough edges of your emotions. (Recovery-from-breakup hint: Your friends are not the best therapists, so be an adult and invest money in the real thing.) Also, avoid dating and stay away from hooking up with a stranger or your ex. Don’t troll Internet dating sites and resist joining. Without a proper period of mourning, you will drag the stinking carcass of your old relationship into any new one you attempt to establish, ruining the possibilities of a happily-ever-after for yourself and for the person you are dating.

How Stupid Do you think we are? (Plus: Seduce on a Budget!)

2008-01-17T20:13:00.000-06:00

This has got to be one of the stupidest ad campaigns I have ever seen.

And where am I seeing it? All over Slate magazine, for the last two weeks. The ad with the rose petals keeps catching my eye, because it is so stupidly cliché that I couldn't help thinking it must be a joke. Please do yourself a favor and watch the slide show, which advocates such "budget" travel "romance" tips as "Cover the light with a scarf" or "Bring a split of champagne!" You think? Alcohol and mood lighting really works??

Fellas, face it – if you're attempting seduction, don't be taking her to the Motel 6 with cologne sprayed on the lightbulbs and scarves hanging off the lamps. (Have you noticed that the budget motels don't have bathtubs, or the ones they do have are really tiny? Good luck having a two-fer bath in those tubs!) If I walked with a fella into a room like that, I would turn around and run the other way, assuming that there was a saw or some other kind of woman-cutting device hidden in the bathroom.

The best budget seduction by far is to clean your stankass single boy apartment and invite her over for a late-night drink. (Because you can't afford a nice dinner, right? No need for dinner!) First, invest in a bottle of Fantastic and use it on all hard surfaces in your apartment (ALL of them, floors, doorknobs, fridge, tub, sink…), wash all of your dirty laundry (change those sheets! No woman wants to get with you in some nappy old dirty sheets!), and remove all garbage from your apartment. Leave the windows open for about two hours the same day to let that musty man-smell air out.

Then pick up a good but cheap bottle of wine (lots and lots of great options for $5-$10 a bottle; when you invite her, asks if she prefers red or white wine), some olives off the grocery store olive bar, and a small chunk of decent cheese or two. Hummus and some nice sesame crackers are cheap too, and then you can appear clean, sophisticated, and tasteful. Before she arrives, leave the lights on but light a few candles – like three or four – around the room where you plan to serve the wine. Stick with one not-overpowering scent, or get scentless "emergency" candles from Wal-Mart; nothing makes you gag more than walking into a place full of competing smells from a hodge podge of strongly scented candles! Put on a little music, but nothing "obvious" like Marvin Gaye. You will find that originality is sexy. If that's too much of a strain, look up the soundtrack to some chick flicks on amazon.com and grab a few of the sexy-sounding songs from there. Chance are, you'll hit one that she's seen and liked. When she gets tipsy from your cheap wine, invite her into your clean, fresh-smelling bed. Voila! A budget conquest that makes you look like a sophisticated stud.

The Economics of Marriage

2008-01-17T20:05:00.000-06:00

Check out this examination of marriage and economics.

Another underwear "SMILE"

2008-01-16T10:53:00.000-06:00

This is Swedish soccer player Fredrik Ljungberg. Is it just me or are the soccer players getting hotter every day?

Girls and Football. Stop whinning and start listening!

2008-01-16T10:18:00.000-06:00

I am a huge football fan and always have been but I hear women all the time complaining about men and football. Here's the thing, it doesn't matter if it is football, baseball, the ballet or stamp collecting everyone (male and female) has things in their lives that they are passionate about. It doesn't matter if it is a woman who likes opera or a man who likes football, what matters is that you reach some common ground! Loving someone doesn't mean you have everything in common it means that despite your differences you want to share time with that person. Not every minute of every day I believe each person should have a small amount of their own life but sometimes you make a compromise and do something the other person wants to do so you can spend time together. This means if you want him to take you to the opera then maybe you should try watching a game or suggest going to a sports bar on Sunday to watch. However if you want this to work you can not sit there and roll your eyes and sigh the whole time. If you are going to spend the time then pay attention and try to learn something, even if its just the basics it will make an occasional game more enjoyable for you. If you decide after a couple tries that you just can't take it at all then decide to make that part of his life then let him do it by himself or with his friends with no strings attached and it will come back to you. Nagging or bitching about football Sunday is no way to win a man (or woman for that matter) over. Make that day your day with the girls so that you have something in your life also. As a quick note I want to say that most people are reasonable about their passions but from time to time you find the person who is so obsessive about it that other parts of their lives suffer. This is when you have to weigh your options and decide if this person is truly worth your time. For those women who would like to give this a try here is the article called Football 101 - A Girl's guide to Football - What's in it for her? that got me started on this subject. If you would like to learn a bit about football try Googling "Football for girls" or "Understanding the basics of the NFL".
For any men that wonder upon this article don't worry there are women out there that enjoy the game of football just as much as you do!

Back from sunny beaches

2008-01-16T10:03:00.000-06:00

Vacation was the best ever! Lots of running, lots of beach bumming, lots of fun!

Beach Bum

2008-01-03T19:24:00.000-06:00

I am taking some time to meditate, regroup, veg, chill, hang out....whatever you call it! Plan on hitting alot of beach and doing very little else! Have fun in the cold!

Resolving Resolutions

2008-01-01T09:03:00.000-06:00

Where does the time go? As a child it seemed like school weeks lasted months, summer vacation lasted a week and the sun was never out enough. As a teenager I couldn't wait to be a college student, as a college student all I wanted was to be a career girl, now as a career girl I wonder why I wanted to grow up so fast? Why do we always want something different? This brings me to my new years resolution........I need to live in the moment, go with the flow and be happy where I am in life. I have a great life and a great husband, a fantastic supportive family and a great job. What else do I need? Liposuction and a boob job........wait wait wait- live in the moment, go with the flow and be happy where I am in life.....maybe just the Lipo then.

Homeless and Unemployed

2007-12-31T02:07:00.000-06:00

My contract in Washington ends on January 4Th and my last night at work is January 3rd after that I am homeless and unemployed. Right now the demand is not that great for "travelers" like myself. I have been submitted for a few jobs but I have been submitted with 12 other people for the same jobs. Right now there are more people looking for jobs than there are jobs to be filled. There are many companies that place people into jobs and I have 3 companies looking for jobs at this time. I have heard mention of some spots in Seattle, St Louis, Minneapolis, Texas and Northern California. Usually this is an exciting time for me, not knowing where I will go next, or if I will have a job, the possibilities are endless. Now that I have another person that depends on me it is not so exciting. If I don't work then I don't have health insurance and I can pay for COBRA but that is over a thousand dollars a month. Insurance is a must have when your husband has had two previous surgeries to remove a brain tumor. I have always had another job lined up before my assignment ended, call it luck or abundance of jobs but this is a new experience for me. I have someone else that I provide for and I may not be able to provide. Growing up and needing insurance and having someone else depend on you for these things is awful, growing up is over rated and I don't wanna!!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T09:18:00.001-06:00

May All Your Dreams Come True!

Hey, hey, the gang's all here!

2007-12-23T00:47:00.001-06:00

Just want to point out, as you see on the sidebar, all six of us are now present and accounted for! Welcome, Cappelli and QC, to the blog! Looking forward to hearing from you both.

Daily Smile!!!!!

2007-12-22T17:15:00.000-06:00

To stay with the ad theme here is a beautiful Mark Wahlberg for Calvin Klein.

Absolut Hunk the drink

2007-12-22T17:09:00.000-06:00

I posted a photo of the Absolute Hunk and forgot that it was also a drink! I thought I would list it for your holiday fun! Sure enough here it was:

the ingredients include: 4 Parts ABSOLUT VANILIA, 1 part simple syrup, 1 part fresh lime juice and a splash of pineapple juice. Pour ABSOLUT VANILIA over ice in a shaker. (Create simple syrup by mixing equal parts water and sugar together and stand mixture aside until it has dissolved into a simple syrup). Add simple syrup, fresh lime juice and a splash of pineapple juice. Shake or stir well. Strain and serve in chilled martini glass. Garnish with a lime.

ENJOY!!

Shoes

2007-12-19T22:23:00.000-06:00

Arghh! How many pairs of shoes can a girl justifiably take on a two week vacation? Keep in mind I am not sure what dress I will be wearing for New Year's, I will be running and snow shoeing, and I am driving so space is not an issue.

Late To The Game But Glad to Be Here

2007-12-19T19:45:00.000-06:00

Hello All! After significant technical difficulties I am finally up and running. I am headed home for the holidays. I live in a rural area, and I am going to visit my parents who live in a relatively large metropolitan area for the holidays. One of the nice things about going home is all the lovely single men my age, (there aren't very many where I live). Merry Christmas indeed! More later.

Things I Like

2007-12-18T14:08:00.001-06:00

I have done a complete 180 lately in the clothing department. When I was younger, I could not stand sweaters - I hated them, they were ugly, they were hot, they made me itch, they had little balls of fabric all over them. And they never fit quite right.

I still think sweaters are often too hot to wear on a normal day, and some do make me itch. But I believe that the nothing is as simply lovely and elegant as the right sweater for a casual occasion. Plus, when you're feeling crappy and it's cold outside, nothing feels as cozy and soft as a sweater. If it's a good sweater, it's as comfortable as a pajama top but much nicer looking. And sweaters can be worn under suits for really formal dress, or with dress pants, or casual pants, or jeans, so they fit nearly any dress code.

Look at this one from Nordstrom:

It's a beautiful example of a sweater: Simple, elegant, cozy; can be dressed up or dressed down, depending on the accessories and the occasion. The problem with nice sweaters is that they are always very expensive. Then again, nice sweaters - as long as you don't go too trendy - are investment pieces, because they last a long time as long as you take good care of them. (This one is nice but you'd have to be a stick figure to really be able to pull that one off without looking completely mad.) Women with complete wardrobes ought to have at least half a dozen nice sweaters.

Angel tree

2007-12-15T18:13:00.000-06:00

Charity, football and Christmas - does it get better then that? Nope! Here are some photos from the Rams charity event Project Angel Tree. After the volunteering comes the meeting with the players. My boy Dane Looker and Jen got to meet her favorite Jeff Wilkins. The girls had just as much fun as we did and I am already looking forward to next year!

SATC smile!

2007-12-15T10:23:00.000-06:00

Here is your reason to smile for today!!!! SATC fans remember Jason Lewis fondly!

What do you fantasize about?

2007-12-14T23:05:00.000-06:00

In an episode of Sex and the City the girls talk about their fantasy's and how everyone has them. Does your fantasy say anything about you or is it simply make believe? This article breaks down some common fantasy subject matter. As much as the article I was intrigued by the last two lines. If I think back to the times when I was in love I did only fantasize about my love. This was also brought up in the same episode of SATC when Charlotte says she had only been thinking of Trey lately. Interesting.

The last line of the article was brought up in the movie Simply Irresistible when they say that men think about sex 238 times a day. I was wondering do women really think about sex 4.5 times a day. Do you think this ratio is correct for average people?

Things I like

2007-12-13T22:24:00.000-06:00

I'm going to start a new category of posts in which I highlight a lovely lady item that I like and want to share. Some of these items will be things I cannot afford and would never buy even if I could. Some of them are things I think are cute and worth sharing. Just think of it as online window shopping, with your virtual girlfriends!

For my first post in this series, a new Coach bag:

Isn't she lovely?

And check out these cute little egg vases:

Take Some Advice

2007-12-13T06:55:00.000-06:00

I love advice columns; I read every one I see, even when I'm reading and judging at the same time (some of the college ones are really bad!). But have you noticed that no one seems to take your advice?

I've often joked with friends that people should make an agreement - before they get involved - to run any potential partners past a panel of their friends to address any obvious red flags once the relationship is getting serious enough to become monogamous. Agree to it ahead of time, though, because once they start dating the person, my friends all seem to want to be blind to the faults of their flame. An entire group of well-meaning friends can tell someone's headed for disaster, but the person usually doesn't want to hear it and will instead use the criticism to craft the "story" about their new boyfriend or girlfriend in the future.

Yet advice columns abound. Take a look at this one (third letter from "Concerned Dad") and tell me whether you think that girl's going to listen.

Broadway Review

2007-12-13T06:08:00.000-06:00

I have always been intrigued by the theatre. I was a nerd in the Drama club as a high schooler and I LOVED the plays that our high school would put on. I don't really have a lot of experience at going to the theater, I have seen a few things including the Lion King, Wicked, Blast! and Stomp . I can now add one more show to my growing resume of Broadway musicals....The Jersey Boys. I absolutely loved it!! As a product of the 70's I did not grow up listening to Frankie Valli, the Four Seasons or any combination of the above mentioned people/group. I would go see this show again and again and I even ordered the CD on amazon.com I am officially a Jersey Boys groupie, does anyone else want to join me?

Girls just wanna have fun!!!

2007-12-10T21:13:00.000-06:00

Here is the reason women watch soccer! For the rest of us I just thought it would give us a reason to smile for today. David's new ad.

Sneak Peek

2007-12-10T05:39:00.000-06:00

I was just browsing the web while at work....I love getting paid to play on the Internet....and I came across the trailer for the Sex and the City movie. I was kind of disappointed, but yet intrigued. None the less, I can't wait to see the movie!!!!

Judging a book by its car?

2007-12-09T20:34:00.001-06:00

I was wondering what you guys think of this article? It says that the type of car you have says a lot about your style in the love department. I fit in the sedan department but the car was given to me so it is not really me and what about all the other styles where do they fit. What if you drive an old beater or a classic muscle car? Do these kinds of things really say something about who you are?

New Years resolutions

2007-12-09T20:15:00.001-06:00

Well it is the time of year to begin thinking of your New Years resolutions. Do you keep your resolutions or do they fall out of your thoughts by the tenth? Here are some common sense things that we all should think of for the new year resolutions or not. This article also includes your 2008 peek at your horoscope.

Subtle, and not so

2007-12-09T11:43:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about Fah's grief, and then stumbled on this blog post. Perhaps she should try the "[item]-shaped hole in your life" approach. And if that fails, pick up a crowbar yourself...for a little more persuasive application.

What Not to Get

2007-12-06T19:40:00.000-06:00

Here's a pretty good list of ten things not to get your partner for the holidays. May I add sex toys to that list? While I think a deluxe item might be nice for an occasional gift, it is not an "occasion" gift - it is for both of you, presumably, and should just be given "because." (I'd say Valentine's Day might be appropriate, but that's a big might - only if she/he isn't harboring some secret romance streak. Sex does not equal romance.)

Add your own: What would you hate to get from your partner for the holidays? I'd hate anything that I don't normally wear or use, because it would show that he simply does not pay attention. I would give HUGE bonus points for a kitchen-related luxury gadget I would not get for myself, such as a high-quality mandolin, but even though I'd love a whole set of Creuset cookware, I'm probably in the minority. Gadgets okay, pots not okay. Nice knives, good. And a well-chosen book or CD is always a nice gift, which is why God gave us Amazon wish lists.

Another Forced Occasion

2007-12-06T19:35:00.001-06:00

So, for those who complain about Valentine's Day being a greeting-card holiday, what do we think about yet another obligatory occasion, the "push" present? While it's true that a woman sacrifices quite a bit physically and emotionally to have a baby, that's part of being a woman. And, if you're doing it right, the man is making sacrifices too - he's rubbing your back, bringing you odd food items at 3 a.m., putting up with your emotional bullshit, and more likely than not working to put the food on the table and the designer diaper bag in your brand-new minivan. So do you deserve a big shiny present for giving birth?

Discuss.

More Fun Ways to Kill Your Spouse

2007-12-06T19:27:00.000-06:00

The headline is facetious, but I just want to make a point of all of the bizarre ways people kill or maim their significant others.

By bashing her head on the road.

By running him over with the car. Or, by running him over with the car.

By going after him with a samurai sword. Or just threatening her with a sword.

Or chasing him down with not one but two shotguns.

Or pushing her into the path of a train.

Let me prove my point

2007-12-05T19:27:00.000-06:00

Do I need to draw a picture??? I had read an article and posted it on this blog about how men don't listen to what women say. Here is my point and it has been signed, sealed and delivered to the next level.
I was online and I was talking to my husband on the phone and when he asked what I was doing I told him that I was attempting to add some items to my Amazon wish list. I thought that I had planted the seed but instead of hearing me make references to my Amazon wish list he "chose" to only hear a portion of what I was saying. To verify my assumption I later asked him point blank if he remembered what I was doing when I was speaking to him earlier.........he said "you were on line". That is point #1, my husband DOES NOT pick up on subtle hints.
After about a week and a half of boiling over this listening/hearing issue that my husband suffers from I again pointed out that I had an Amazon wish list, this time I asked him first if he was listening to what I was saying and then I said..."today I added a few items to my Amazon wish list that I would like to have". To him this was the VERY first time he had actually heard any kind of mention about an Amazon wish list. This is point #2, my husband needs to be asked if he is listening before telling him anything that I feel is important. He "got it" after I had to blatantly point out that there was indeed a wish list out there.
This brings me to point #3....the email that I got today:

Hey baby,

I need to know how to look up what u want for C-mas on Amazon.com. I can go onto the
website but do not know how to find your list..... or you can just send me a
list of what u want.... hope u are having a good day and I LOVE
U

Husband

I just want to scream right now. I do not feel as though I am playing games with my husband, he should have the common sense and the EYES to SEE the wish list section on Amazon, now he needs me to hold his hand while he is attempting to look at the list that I had to blatantly tell him existed. It says WISH LIST in the middle of the freaking page!!! It is right there!!!!! Am I always going to have to be the mother? Maybe this is just one of MANY isolated incidents and my husband will "get it" one day but for right now can I trade him in or send him to some sort of boot camp?

Sex and the City movie

2007-12-03T21:56:00.000-06:00

I just had a conversation with my sister tonight about the Sex and the City movie. She said she wasn't sure about the movie and thought it may be a bad idea. I miss SATC and was looking forward to the movie but here are some photos from the set of the movie. Does anyone else see a bizarre dress that looks to be Carrie's wedding dress? What the hell kind of outfit is this? I think Carrie has made some strange choices from time to time but this dress and head piece are really out there.

Why aren't you married yet?

2007-12-02T22:15:00.000-06:00

This is a question that makes all single folks cringe and I stumbled across this fun list of reasons to give the next time you are asked "Why aren't you married?". My favorite are numbers 2, 3, and 23! Good stuff.

Women vs Men in the shower

2007-12-02T22:05:00.000-06:00

I just thought this was a very funny video! Difference between women and men in personal habits.

A Slap in the Face

2007-12-02T13:52:00.001-06:00

Check out this commercial. Give it a second to see what you think about it. I'll be right here while you go look.

Then take a look at the discussion about it here. Was that your first reaction?

Now that you've thought about it and seen one view of it, what do you think of the commercial? About the trend in general?

What do we think about Craigslist?

2007-12-01T00:31:00.000-06:00

So I posted a personal on Craigslist, brutally honest, not expecting much response, and I can't believe how many messages I have gotten in the two short hours since I posted it. A lot of guys home on the internets on a Friday night, I suppose.

Top What Ever's

2007-11-30T02:17:00.000-06:00

Who comes up with these list's for holiday gift giving? It looks like they (the infamous 'they') looked into5 ladies on line shopping carts and decided that there should be a top 20 list made up from the observation. If these are the top things getting clicked on this holiday season there is a problem somewhere. Some of the items, I feel, may have been clicked on by an individual and then clicked on 135 more times to show all her friends how awful and ugly it was. Who's clicking on these things? On the other hand a few items are well thought out and acceptable. I guess my computer was not "hooked up" to this clicking expedition that has prompted a top 20 list. If my computer had been connected with the expedition it would have been more like a top 3 list going something like this:

#1 A nice watch.
#2 A Fat Diamond.
#3 A Great Bag.

Good luck with your shopping endeavours and I hope that you all get only fabulous things and nothing that is awful.

M-O-U-S-EEE

2007-11-29T07:01:00.000-06:00

I am back and it's cold!!!! I went from mid 80's to low 30's-YUCK- but I had a great time with my family at Disney World. It was a pretty quick trip but it was a fun and action packed adventure. I have to say that my trip started off VERY well...I treated myself to a First Class Ticket!!!! I had tons of leg room, free hot meals, free drinks and NO KIDS (I figured that I would get my fill of those at DW).

The hotel was nice, it was a "value resort" but seemed cleaner yet older than the "moderate resort" we stayed at last time. All in all-we slept in our rooms, we swam in the pool and we went to the parks ALL day long. You don't really go to Disney World to sit in your room, do you? It was a great value and it was fun. At the Pop Century Resort there are era themed areas. We stayed in the 1960's building and we had our own pool and it was shaped like a daisy. The 1950's themed building had a bowling pin shaped pool, very interesting and very fun!! I would give this resort a 4 out of 5. It was clean, cheap and served the purpose of our trip....a place to sleep and shower.

Disney is great, I love it!!! My family went to the Animal Kingdom before I got there and I had been before so we concentrated our time on the other parks, mainly MGM and the Magic Kingdom. I over heard some people talking and they said that there was about 15,000 people more per park than there is on a normal busy day. That's great news for me and my love for screaming kids! It was crowded and there were LONG waits for almost every ride, as long as 2 hours for some! I am almost as patient as a 4 year old so I did not fair well....thank God for the FastPass.

All in all I had a fantastic time being a kid at Disney World but being an adult and flying First Class was pretty great too. I guess I had the best of both worlds!

Shopaholic on the Blog

2007-11-28T22:13:00.000-06:00

I've just finished Sophie Kinsella's Confessions of a Shopaholic, the first in her Becky Bloomwood series. It is quite obviously designed to capitalize on the Bridget Jones success – another goofy, mistake-ridden, socially awkward British girl being rescued by a rich man. (Bridget Jones itself is, of course, a knockoff on that all-time world-class romance Pride and Prejudice.) Don't take my description as judgment, however: I'm a fan of escapist fiction and have no need for my beach reads to possess any kind of political correctness, proper feminist attitudes, or (truthfully) much intelligence at all. That said, however, Shopaholic was a painful read at times.

There's nothing wrong with the story – Becky Bloomwood is incredibly financially irresponsible. She hides letters and past-due notices from her bank and then pretends they don't exist, while she trips out to do more shopping on all of her credit cards for items she doesn't need. She sets up meetings with her irate banker only to skip out on them, and invents fantastic reasons as to why she cannot possibly pay her bill or even return their phone calls. She's also a wannabe journalist or beauty magazine editor stuck working for various financial publications.

Enter Luke Brandon, of Brandon Communications, a high-powered PR executive who is both sexy (of course) and ruthlessly competitive (why not?). Becky writes a piece for a British tabloid exposing a ripoff perpetrated by one of Luke's clients, and she goes on a morning television show to defend her column in a live debate with Luke. I won't give any more of the plot away, but you can imagine its predictable outcome.

The painful aspect of the book doesn't come from its obvious girl-meets-boy storyline – Becky's character is funny and amusing, if a little dumb sometimes and a somewhat habitual liar. What's hard to read is the pain, panic, and denial of being in financial straits. I'm sure we can all relate to Becky's panic when she realizes that the ten or twenty pounds she thought she'd spent on one card or another turns out to be five hundred (and there's card after card with such balances) while her bank overdraft grows and grows. Who hasn't been there at one time or another, even if not to such an extreme degree? (Reminds me of the Nicki storyline in the first season of Big Love. The one that never resolved itself.)

The recent spate of chick lit novels have dealt with all sorts of heavy and uncomfortable topics, like body image, relationships with mothers, lack of personal achievement, dysfunctional spouses and siblings, and rebellious children. As more and more people go further into debt, the money problems raise conflicts we can all relate to even if it makes us squirm.

Still, Becky's reactions are comically extreme, and the resolution of her problems – making more money (or MMM, as her dad says) is actually a nicer solution than the "Luke takes her away and pays for everything" ending I'd anticipated – even if it remains just a little too good to be true.

All in all, the book was an enjoyable though fluffy read – a story that amused and entertained, primarily through the lovableness of the characters. Becky doesn't mean to lie, she doesn't mean to spend so much, and she never buys without a reason! And her large-hearted roommate Suze is the ultimate supportive girlfriend. I enjoyed the book even though I found myself thinking as I read that, with such simple characters and storylines, I could probably write something at least that good. And it's the first in a series of Shopaholic books, so you can expect future discussion of Becky Bloomwood on these pages.

Confessions of a Shopaholic, by Sophie Kinsella

Category: Chick lit

Pros: Memorable characters, funny occurrences, excellent supportive girlfriend, great parents who don't add to the angst (NOTHING like Bridget Jones's mother)

Cons: Rote romance storyline, not enough character development of Luke, discomfort of confronting financial denial, too-good-to-be-true ending*

Rating: three out of five

*Which turns out to not be quite the end of things, if you read the next book.

Are Relationships Like Bikes?

2007-11-28T21:37:00.001-06:00

This is an interesting question: If you've been "dating" for a long time (as opposed to having been in a "relationship"), do you forget how to be in a relationship? Or is being a girlfriend like riding a bike, i.e., no matter how long it's been, you can immediately get back on and ride?

I think it's more like a bike. But to me, the more important question is, when you take a break from being in relationships are you putting your relationship maturity on hold? What I mean is, the kind of person you are in a relationship at 18 is not the same person you are at 30. Part of that is dating and relationship experience, and part of it is just general life experience. But for those of us who have gone several years without serious, long-term relationships, are we stagnating? Is my relationship maturity stuck at 22, no matter how many people I casually date or how much I mature in the rest of my life? I'd like to think that life experiences, not just relationship experiences, add to your maturity and ability to deal in a relationship; and thus you're never stagnating. But I admit I have an interest in believing that, too. Otherwise, am I going to have to wait to find a man who's been on break as long as I have? Or (a little better) date a much younger man, who is at the same place in his relationship life - his dating age, you might say - as I am?

And if relationships aren't like bikes, does that mean...women are like fish?

Imagine My Surprise

2007-11-27T23:58:00.000-06:00

I was all set to criticize this article which talks about the five areas in which women grade men on a date, but found that I agree with all but one (the shoes). Hygiene, not acting like an asshole, and caring enough to put a little thought into the evening rank very high on my list of requirements for a good date.

What do you think about the shoes, though? I'm sure I notice when I like a guy's shoes, but unless they were crazy flamboyantly ugly, I don't think I'd notice too strongly if I didn't like them. (And in all candor here, what I notice the most is when a guy is wearing sandals or flip flops and has nice, tanned feet with long, straight toes - I'm no foot fetishist, but I do think a man with nice feet is that much more attractive.) Would bad shoes be a deal-breaker for you?

Bonus link: Manolo's Gallery of the Horrors.

Sex movie update

2007-11-26T18:12:00.000-06:00

Victoria "Posh" Beckham has declined an invitation to participate in the upcoming Sex and the City movie due to touring conflicts with the Spice Girls. What do you vote for more Spice Girls or Sex and the City? For me the choice is clear!

Stay tuned for more updates as they come.

Love or sex?

2007-11-26T17:58:00.000-06:00

Everyone remembers the first episode of Sex and the City right? The question was "Can women have sex like men?", meaning without feeling. I stumbled across this article written by an attractive man that has just been a "victim" of a woman having sex like a man and his take is very interesting to say the least. I believe this shows that men occasionally enjoy a woman who is sexually aggressive but still make love like a woman.

M -I -C......K -E-Y

2007-11-22T01:51:00.000-06:00

I am off to make my dreams come true....I am going to Disney World!!!! I am meeting my sister, mother and nephew....oh yeah and my husband there!!! We are staying at the Pop Century Resort, it is my first time staying there and I will critique the resort upon my return. This will be my third trip to Disney though, once at age 11 and once at age....well it was about 2 years ago. The family and I stayed at the Riverside Resort 2 years ago and really enjoyed it. I am curious to see the difference in the two resorts. Happy Thanksgiving and I will have a full report when I return.

OMG.

2007-11-21T06:57:00.000-06:00

DTMFA!

DTMFA?

2007-11-21T06:49:00.000-06:00

Dan Savage has an acronym for a situation where it is obvious the person writing in for advice needs to just end the relationship, like yesterday: "DTMFA." I will be using "DTMFA" in blog posts, so I thought I'd explain what it means.

So this is love

2007-11-21T06:47:00.000-06:00

So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of...

(full lyrics)

Minnie Adventure

2007-11-20T05:02:00.000-06:00

I recently visited Las Vegas to attend a very boring yet informative symposia about the wonderful world of Cat Scan and upon returning via the Las Vegas International Airport one of my co-workers was pulled aside so that her bag could be checked by a security screener. My co-worker had purchased a snow globe as a souvenir and she got pulled aside for packing a snow globe into her carry on!!!! Just so you know....these are illegal to carry on. Even if there is less than 3 ounces of liquid inside, they can NEVER be carried onto a plane, according to the security person that took away her very small snow globe and probably pocketed it.
This brings me to my point:
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is said to be the busiest day for air travel in the US. It just so happens that I leave for Disney World from Seattle on Thursday, but my family leaves from KC on Wednesday. What does this mean? It means LONG LONG security lines and a super long time to get through those lines. How safe is it anyway? According to some studies and tests that have been conducted by government investigators, it may be easier than you think to smuggle bomb parts through security at certain airports. (I can't image that one of these airports could be Las Vegas after the snow globe incident). I have never tried to "smuggle" any type of item through security that might be questioned, I even put my powdered eye shadow inside the allowed zip-lock bag for liquids. I want no problems and I DO NOT want security going through my bag, touching my make-up foundation bottle and contact case after they have touched 96 other people's dirty panties without changing their gloves!!

Drive Thru Salon

2007-11-19T03:53:00.000-06:00

Say I live in Alaska, I'm 73, I probably didn't just move to Alaska when I was 72 and I have probably driven on snow and ice before.........IT'S ALASKA!!!!!! I really don't think that this lady needs to be driving again in the near future, maybe during the spring thaw. At least she'll look good for the insurance adjuster.

SEXIEST MAN ALIVE

2007-11-19T00:57:00.000-06:00

A couple of us here at What Not took a quiz about who is our celebrity boyfriend and we came up with Matt Damon! Well I just want to say that's not to shabby considering he was just named this years "sexiest man alive" by People magazine. Congratulations Matt and we are looking forward to getting our copy. Here is the top 14 on this years list....

People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 2007 list:
1. Matt Damon
2. Patrick Dempsey
3. Ryan Reynolds
4. Brad Pitt
5. James McAvoy
6. Johnny Depp
7. Dave Annable
8. Will Smith
9. Javier Bardem
10. Shemar Moore
11. Ben Affleck
12. Adrian Grenier
13. Will Yun Lee
14. Justin Timberlake

Single for the holidays

2007-11-18T12:44:00.000-06:00

Holidays can be stressful but if you are single sometimes they can be stressful and depressing. So what should a single gal do to keep your holiday white instead of blue?

This article has some wonderful tips for the holidays but also things you should be thinking of anytime you find yourself single. Find ways to relieve stress and other things will follow. I love this quote from the article “It’s not singlehood that’s a liability, it’s stagnation.” “Get the juices flowing in your life, and then your relationship status becomes an attribute, not an identity.” I think a lot of people make the mistake of having their relationship become their identity and it is easy to slip into that mind frame, however, separate friends or interests are important to a healthy relationship. If you establish a life of your own now then you will become more confident and secure and that makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Focus on friends, family and yourself and your holidays will still be merry.

Sex and the City quiz

2007-11-17T00:16:00.000-06:00

Are you more like Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte or Samantha? When I am out with my girlfriends the conversation always comes up, which character are you most like? I have always said I was mostly Carrie and here is a quiz to let you know for sure. By the way I was 40% Carrie, 30% Miranda, 20% Charlotte and 10% Samantha. Have fun!!

A "BIG" story

2007-11-17T00:00:00.000-06:00

As most Sex and the City fans know there is a movie in our future now that all four girls have signed on for their parts! This is exciting news and we will keep you up to date on the going ons of the movie. For now we here at What Not to Date would like to say congratulations to Chris Noth and his girlfriend Tara Wilson who are expecting their first child! We are looking forward to seeing Mr. Big in the upcoming movie.

Does anyone care if Katie Holmes wears makeup during a run?

2007-11-16T12:29:00.000-06:00

This is a silly article and I can't believe it is a debate! Does it matter to you if women wear makeup when they workout? It shouldn't matter, who cares if the woman next to you has on lipstick while she is on the treadmill. I say everyone should do what they are comfortable with and leave poor Katie alone.

McDreamy, McSteamy, and McWeeny

2007-11-16T11:19:00.001-06:00

Are the new TV shows making men into mice? Did you once lust over McDreamy now to wonder where his balls have gone? First I want to admit that I am a little behind on Grey's Anatomy having lost a couple of episodes in a move however I do religiously watch Private Practice and Big Shots. I thought this article was a very interesting take on the basic demoralization of men on TV. As a female that loved the bad boy in Derek Shepherd and the chase, I do miss a bit of that mystery. I believe most shows are showing men as they are becoming in life. A bit whiney and further and further from a man's man everyday. There is nothing sexier then a confident, strong man's man with maybe a sensitive touch!

If you are looking for some stronger men characters then tune in to Private Practice it is the Grey's spin off and the women are strong-willed and independent but so are the men. I think at least in this first season Private Practice has hit a great balance of independence and wanting. As for Big Shots it may be that some folks don't want to feel bad for rich, good looking guys talking about their feelings but as much as I hate a whiner this show is just funny and fun to watch. It makes me think hey look these guys "have everything" and they are unhappy. Remember money doesn't buy happiness right? Think of it as a small escape.

Speaking of shopaholics...

2007-11-15T18:48:00.001-06:00

Heh.

And check this out, the weapons of choice of spatting couples: coffee, frying pans, cat doors.

Hairy-armpitted man-hating lesbians

2007-11-15T18:25:00.000-06:00

That got your attention, didn't it? The notion that feminists are just that had, I thought, long been discredited. And now Rutgers has undertaken a study to prove that not only are feminists not man-hating dykes, but they are actually happier and more attractive to men than their non-feminist counterparts.

The article bitches that feminists have brought all of these wonderful advances to women yet somehow younger women have the audacity not to identify with the feminist principles. Can you believe the nerve?

The article is somewhat ridiculous in its premise:

Monash University feminist academic Karen Green, 56, said the study confirmed men and women who treat their lovers as their equals and allow them to pursue their own ambitions have better relationships.

"Young women today might say they don't believe in feminism but if you asked them if they thought they were inferior, they wouldn't agree," she said.

If you ask most women if they identify with feminism, they probably think of the political brand of feminism that treats women as victims and says that women are entitled to all sorts of special privileges, not just that women and men are equal. Of course women today don't think they're inferior - the fact that they don't identify with feminism just means that they don't identify with the man-hating whining bitches that have become the face of the feminist movement.

Land of Women review

2007-11-14T17:11:00.000-06:00

First I have to say I was looking forward to this movie because I love this relatively new actor Adam Brody from The OC. I expected a comedic click flick when I got this film but it is definitely more of a drama. A story of friendship, hope and life and a reminder to stop and look around once in awhile to see who and what is around. Meg Ryan stars as a struggling house wife who discovers she has breast cancer while her daughter, played by Kristen Stewart, is dealing with typical teenage angst. Adam’s character Carter helps to open their eyes to their situation. Olympia Dukakis plays the aging grandmother wonderfully. I love the line by main character Carter who says about life “It’s messy, and it’s chaotic, and it’s never ever the thing you’d expect.” I would give this film a four star rating and I am looking forward to seeing Adam in his future films.

The "Duh" Factor

2007-11-14T17:02:00.000-06:00

Am I too old (or perhaps jaded?) for these articles, or do I just have too much worldly experience? I ask because I think most dating and relationship articles targeted to women have a great deal of "duh" factor in them.

Take this article for instance: It lists twenty signs that you're being two-timed. They all amount to "duh" except a few that don't necessarily indicate anything, like number 19 (he has friends who are "players") or number 15 (he doesn't want to answer "certain" cell calls in your presence - since when is this hiding something? I thought it was good manners to not answer your cell phone on a date!).

Here's another one: 5 Women She Hates. Should men really dignify stupid insecurities like this? Women, do we really need him to take us on a tour of his office and display our photo prominently there? What happened to trust? Now, it's one thing if you're dating a guy you really can't trust - and then the question becomes not "Does he think his trainer is hot?" but "Is it worth it to be with this guy when I'm constantly wondering who else he's boning?" But for the average, normal, non-psycho woman, do you really need reassurance that he's not dipping his wick with his old college buddies.

So am I just being bitchy? Or are we - the readers and writers of this blog - just smarter than the average potato?

I guess this about covers all the options

2007-11-14T07:05:00.001-06:00

William Saletan at Slate reports on a new study that purports a direct relationship between a woman's hip-to-waist ratio and her intelligence, and covers all the bases of commentary on it:

A study says curvy women are smarter. Sample: 16,000 females. Result: Women with high ratios of hip to waist size "scored significantly higher on [cognitive] tests, as did their children." Theories: 1) Hip fat contains omega3 acids, which promote "growth of the brain during pregnancy" and "could improve the woman's own mental abilities," whereas waist fat has more omega6 acids, "which are less suited to brain growth." 2) Teen mothers produce dumber kids because they're thinner and deficient in omega3. 3) Men like curvy women due to "the double enticement of both an intelligent partner and an intelligent child." Skeptical reactions: 1) The omega3 theory is pure speculation. 2) Diet and class are more plausible explanations. 3) Men don't care that much about waist-to-hip ratio. Rosy feminist spin: "Research that proves you can be sexy and intelligent is really positive." Cynical feminist spin: Except when it implies that being unshapely makes you stupid. (Related: Slate's XX Factor on a similar new study.)

As for me, I'll take option number 3 (both of them).

OMG!!!!!

2007-11-13T07:07:00.000-06:00

I can't wait!!!! Tomorrow is THE day!!!! Project Runway starts TOMORROW!! Since I no longer have Bravo as part of my free cable, I will have to rely on the Internet to update me on who, what, where, when and how they did it. How super exciting is this? Some of the challenges are so out there and the designers are so creative, remember the one with the trash (episode 6 season 3) and Alison made her model look like a fat Minnie Mouse? What kind of challenges will there be this season? Dressing someone's dad or cat? Making a garment out of scrap lumber.....oh the anticipation. OMG only hours are left, who else is excited for this new season?

Speaking of quizzes...

2007-11-12T21:20:00.000-06:00

I just took this "Who's your celebrity boyfriend?" quiz and found out that my celebrity boyfriend is....Steven Tyler. While that may suit Amber, that is NOT okay with me. I want to know who the other options are! Take the quiz and report back with the results.

UPDATE: I like the result from this quiz better:

The Boy Next Door: Matt Damon

When it comes to love, you're looking for a man with "white picket fence" potential: the guy who will compliment your mom, helps clean the dishes and could melt the polar ice caps with his smile. He's not always perfect and can be a tad too predictable at times, but you'll love the fact that he's got a dependable job, coaches Little League on the weekends and still finds time to let you know how much he loves you. He's more "apple pie" than "devil's food cake" -- but that means the last thing he'll want to do is break your heart.

Of course, the result of this one was...Adam Sandler. Why? Why?! What am I doing wrong?

The joy of kissing

2007-11-12T19:56:00.000-06:00

Kissing is a big deal to me, it is more important than most other sexual related behaviors. I have recently met a man that showed me something different about kissing and it has made me realize the importance of communication. If you are too shy to talk about your likes or dislikes you will never know how good things really can be! If your partner is shy then ask them what they like and you will be rewarded. This article has some basic tips that we should all know but it is always good to refresh yourself before you head out on that date.

Good News, ladies!

2007-11-11T10:52:00.000-06:00

Prince Harry is now available, for the first time in several years.

Money for Love! (Chicks Aren't Free)

2007-11-09T07:12:00.000-06:00

Money is a topic that you will see me revisiting frequently, I'm afraid, but it only makes sense - on a blog about relationships, we should expect to see the number one issue between couples! Sad, but true. Now check this out:

Dear Harriette: My boyfriend and I have really good jobs, but he makes a bit more money than I do. Whenever we go to a restaurant, club or general outing hosted by one of my friends, he expects me to pay for him. I always refuse, and we argue for a bit but end up going Dutch. He doesn't have many friends in the city, but when we do go out with them, he never offers to pay for me - so I can't understand why he would expect me to pay for him. I have talked to him about it, but he doesn't understand my point of view. What do I do?

The advisor responds that she should talk to her boyfriend about money and come up with a "plan" about how to pay for dates. I couldn't agree more - because if you can't manage a solution you both agree with at the early dating stage, forget about having a life together down the road. Money values are just as important as sexual values, in my opinion, and a spendthrift and tightwad could never have a happy relationship without a lot of change and personal growth. And why would you want to get into years of feeling like you can't spend your own money, or that your spouse is holding back from you? Many people see money as a trust issues; still more as an issue about the value their spouse places on them.

People, don't go down this road - if you have money arguments with your boyfriend, you need to seriously evaluate what that means for your future, because people rarely change when it comes to something as fundamental as funds.

He's just not that into you

2007-11-08T18:54:00.000-06:00

As a die hard Sex and the City fan I had to check out a book titled "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo, and Lauren Monchik, yep writters from Sex and the City. The man that utterred the infamous quote "He's just not that into you" has opened up to explain why this is such a mind blowing statement for women.
No one wants to be rejected and this very comment has caused me some slightly painful hindsight of my past relationships. Now I look back thinking of all the time and effort spent on guys that weren't that into me! Its bothered me to the point that the songs I hear on the radio have me yelling "he's just not that into you". If you believe this is true then think of the freedom that would come from this knowledge years ago.
To add a positive tone this article posts some ways to tell that he really is that into you!

What does your actor crush say about you?

2007-11-08T18:21:00.000-06:00

So you think you know what kind of guy you are attracted to and what it says about you. This is an interesting article about what your celebrity crush says about you. This is just for fun but stop here and think of a couple of your favorite actors, you know the ones you have to see all their movies and then read on. I was not prepared for my mixture of warriors (Viggo Mortensen, Brad Pitt) and sensitive guys (John Cusack, Adrien Brody). I thought for sure I would have been in the bad boy category but I found it pretty accurate. Ultimately a well rounded mixture is always the best category!

Not a girl with Rules

2007-11-08T16:54:00.000-06:00

Fah linked to an interesting article about the male-female divide, and says that she agrees with its conclusions – her husband ought to be able (to some degree) to read her mind.

I couldn't disagree more.

The article gives an example of women expecting men to interpret their "hidden" meaning:

For example…Alex and Alicia were in the throes of foreplay, and when he started heading south, she said, "No, don't do that." He thought, Okay, she's feeling a little self-conscious, isn't in the mood for that, whatever. It wasn't until later, when she was acting pouty, that he finally got it out of her that she was in the mood for it — she just wanted to make sure he was, too. In fact, she wanted him to be so desperate to go down on her that he'd beg her to let him. But she didn't want to have to say so.

Oh. My. GOD. For the last forty years, men have had it beaten into their heads that "No means no" – that when a woman says no, they are supposed to stop no matter what – no matter if she seemed into it, no matter if he's done it a million times before, if she says no, you must stop. And now we're back to this? She wants him to go down but doesn't want to have to ask for it – what kind of game is that? He was ON HIS WAY. If he didn't want to, he wouldn't have initiated it. And she didn't have to ask him to go, he was going! She stopped him! Why must we play these ridiculous head games?

I have spent my entire adult life trying to get men to believe that I mean what I say, when I say it. I don't like to play games. It's one thing to "hint" about a gift you'd like or to try and find a polite way to tell you we hate your underwear. It's entirely different to tell you one thing and mean the opposite. You know what that is? It's women buying in to the stupid stereotype that if they know what they want and ask for it, they will be seen as too aggressive and unfeminine and not attractive. That's the only explanation I can think of, other than sheer embarrassment about and discomfort with sex in general, for not being honest about your sexual desires with your LIFE LONG PARTNER.

The difference between the two types of expectations is expecting one's partner to pay thoughtful attention to your personality, likes, and dislikes; versus expecting your partner to know exactly how you feel at any given time without having to say it. The first is perfectly okay, and men should be able to figure out nice gifts by paying thoughtful attention to their partners, the same way women do. The other is NOT okay – not just because it involves sex, but because it involves telling someone something and then getting mad when they take you seriously. How can you ever build trust if he's always wondering whether you're going to get mad at him for seemingly no reason? I don't want to be anyone's "project" or homework assignment; I don't want there to be "rote rules" in how to deal with me. Am I the one being unreasonable?

Of course, this could be one of those theory/practice divides, as in, when you're involved in a serious, long-term relationship (something I haven't truly done), you come to expect that after that long time, your boyfriend or husband ought to know you well enough to anticipate certain things or act in certain ways. Those things aren't so much person-specific as they are simple human communication and respect. For instance, you should expect that he listens to you when you talk. At the same time, you should choose your moments wisely. One woman in the article complained that her husband didn't hear anything she said when he was watching t.v. unless she paused the t.v. and made him look at her. Is that so wrong? Why not let him watch his shows without bothering him? I hate it when people talk to me while I'm watching a show. Unless it's dire, talk during the commercials, or after the program. If all he does is watch t.v., you've got bigger problems then whether he hears you talking.

I suspect that Fah's problem is more of the first type than the second; I've known her for a while and she's no shrinking violet when it comes to her opinions. So what's the solution for women - raised to be genteel and polite, to hint and guide rather than be blunt, when their socially retarded men can't take a hint - or even refuse to take you at your word? Sadly, I have no answer other than the old cliche: You can't live with em, can't live without em.

What not to Hear

2007-11-06T07:03:00.000-06:00

I am pretty sure that this guy camped out in my living room or listened in on EVERY single conversation that I have EVER had with my husband. I started reading this and related to almost everything that he wrote about. I was glad to see that at least this guy got it and I hope that he is putting it to good practice in his marriage. I also sent the article to my husband, I hope it sinks in!!!!!!

Do I want my husband to read my mind? Yeah kind of (except when Albert Pujols is playing baseball...yum). Do I want/need him to read between the lines? Always. Why can't I just tell him what I want..........he should already know!!! If you have been with some one for awhile and you can finish each others sentences then you shouldn't have to ask for it, whatever 'IT' may be. I have tried the very forward approach also and told my husband EXACTLY what I wanted and did he do it? NO! So I feel as though in my situation it is a lose-lose, a lost cause. I do realize that men are different than women but after a while don't you think that they would catch on?

When my husband proposed to me I told him from the VERY beginning that this was a HUGE HUGE HUGE deal for the girl!!! It needed to be special and romantic. I gave him suggestions, set up scenarios, told him what places I thought were romantic, I even booked a trip to Hawaii!!!!!!! Did he listen to any of those things, nope, none! Did I mention that I told him that this was a HUGE HUGE HUGE deal for the girl? We were on the way to his parents house (after our Hawaii trip) and we had driven past the Lake at sunset (!!!!!) and made it to his parents house, where we would be alone for only one night (!!!!!) and went straight to sleep, yes sleep, no proposal, NOTHING. After the HUGE deal that I made of it, after telling him over and over again how it's a HUGE HUGE thing for the girl...........he disappointed me. No fire works, no sunset, no creativity, no down on one knee proposal. He WOKE ME UP and said, " I guess there's no perfect time, so will you marry me?" NO PERFECT TIME, NO PERFECT TIME, there are MANY MANY books written to suggest other wise.
I guess in my situation there can be no happy medium. I tell him stuff point blank, he acts like he hears me and NOTHING happens.

If any of you know the guy that wrote yhis article, can you give him my husbands phone number?

Infidelity

2007-11-04T09:02:00.000-06:00

Why not start off a new blog about the relations between women and men with a bang? And nothing is more explosive than infidelity. I wish I could have the forgiving and loving attitude that Anne Bercht displays in this article, but I don't.

I know that infidelity is a "sign" that something is wrong in a relationship (duh), but is it so wrong or passe to want to be in a relationship where I trust the man to TELL ME there's something wrong? You know moms of toddlers are always saying, "Use your words." I'd much rather a man used his words than informed me of the state of our relationship by sticking his dick somewhere it shouldn't be.

Here's where I stand on cheating: A man who can't come clean about whatever his problem is, and resorts to an affair rather than confronting it, is a weasely coward. And finding out about an affair the way that Bercht did - out of nowhere - would essentially be finding out that my husband was a weasely coward. Could I forgive the affair? Possibly. Could I forgive myself for being with a weasely coward?

Doubtful.

Welcome to the Blog!

2007-10-31T12:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to What Not to Date, a group blog started by several ladies across the U.S., dedicated to exploring the world as it relates to relations between the sexes, including dating, makeup, pop culture, films, entertainment, politics, science, education, and other gal-related concerns. Come back soon, as we will begin updating shortly.